Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
