so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
