i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
