I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
