yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
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