Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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