You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
