I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
