I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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