Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
