If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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