and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
