Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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