i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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