I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
