Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
