I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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