we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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