Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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