dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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