Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
