so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
