Welp...herpes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
