i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
