Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
