She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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