come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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