May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
