I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hippo gnu deer
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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