I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
