Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
