there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
