No stitches, just platelets and will power
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
