I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
