we have officially lost it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
