His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize