I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
