yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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