Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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