i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
