she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
