I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
