i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize