and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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