She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
