I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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