just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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