two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
