Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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