Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
