I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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