Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Panties = found
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
