yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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