Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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