Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
