I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Randomize
