Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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