I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
