bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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