I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
