I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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