Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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