I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
