If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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